Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Aaaah...Grow up!

I read "The Zahir" recently…my bro recommended that to me a real long time back but its only recently that I finally got around to read it! And buoy, the timing couldn’t be better…at a time when the meaning of love, loyalty, fidelity… in my life is being redefined…"The Zahir" gives me perfect food for thought!
I remember a particular conversation in the book about love and fidelity...they are two different concepts which are often used together… but wat the author proposed was that these are different entities in themselves. Late last nite, I had a conversation with a friend regarding this…he’d long ago told me that love and sex are different, u mite love someone and somebody u had sex with can jst be an act of our most primal instinct, our life’s real purpose…raise the younger ones, till they time they find their mates and have kids and the circle continues….And it made sense! It got me thinking – is loyalty and fidelity really over-rated in society?? I was also of the opinion that Fidelity is definitely part of a romantic relationship…but is it important…can’t u be primal in your instincts and still be in love! Humans are animals, we’re more blessed than most other animals with the power to think and find purpose and communicate. But primarily , our function is to reproduce…it can be argued that there are far more worthy things to do in life…but I’m talking basic…point blank!

I’ll tell u wat I used to think, that I wanted to get into a relationship (physically) when I’m in love and it’s the most natural thing to do …and I thought that was supposed to guarantee u sumthing…like a pit stop in a race…that now u have gone 40 laps and u have another 20 to complete before u get married…and that’s it…that’s one race over! (For many these two pit stops can be kinda re-arranged.) But I’ve been there…done that…I know its hardly any guarantee, its not a stamp on a person, infact its absolutely nothing…its one of those ways we’ve been taught to think! Its jst a primal instincitive act…and that’s wat it is. Infact even a few days back, I used to think, this is one guy I crossed a threshold with, my pit stop…so now its on to the second…but its not going newhere….so what, I’ve got to make this work, coz I crossed my first pit stop and the only way to go now is to finish the race…get married! But it doesn’t culminate there…its not supposed to…infact it is as naive to think as a “happily ever after” story!

I don’t advocate promiscuous relationships but at the same time, I know there can be more people I can fall in love with…I don’t have to spend my entire life with sumone coz I decided to go ahead and take the plunge…

There are no guarantees in life…and the only thing constant is change…even in relationships, when u think u have crossed the final frontier….actually, there’s no final frontier!

Btw, I do recommend the book, it has an amazing take on the most important things in life...at some times it can resound through the hollowness of our thoughts and sometimes, it can give an entire new perspective to them! Do read it if u can get hold of it...


Sam said...

alrite rims!! gr8 to knw u finally read the book!! wasn't it awesome??
anywyz, coming back to wot u've written. the truth is we take love, fidelty and all other stuff together and treat them as one... this is why for many love is basically such a big baggage. in reality love doesn't need physical presence. just a reassurance!! the rest need physical presence..... u may love someone, have sex someone else... fine!! but the social knitwork doesn't allow you to do that.... our conditioned conscience with its own set of right and wrong wouldn't take it... and the people around won't let go of the chance of being the moral police here!!

Jaded said...

@ sam : oh...you always comment on all my scraps, i love that so much!
well ya, u are right...its our conditioning, that teaches us to think in blank and white in world of grey...maybe that's where instincts come in! my feeling...if it feels right, then its right!