Yes, I am doing that again...at least i was in the process of doing that again...running away to my safe haven. Every time that i have been faced with something which i can't think nemore about,I run away to this town where my friends stay, I groove in with their life...cry my heart out, drink like there's no tomorrow, call sumone to show my strength, but end up weaker...coming back in a few days only to realise that i have lost some more of my strength on the way,trying to leave it all behind...only nothing can be truly left behind till the time u choose to!
My life is back to where i started from afresh, some two years back...with my best friend on a new journey...the journey seems to have ended far too soon that i had imagined..and i am left by myself again!Looking back, I can say I did give it my all,but wasn't good enough i guess. I have to be content with that, there's nothing i can change.I am not going to swallow sleeping pills, or slash my wrist or jump off...if sympathy is what brings him back, then I'll be even more sure that I never deserved him!
Its been a week, and most of my friends don't know.Am not sure i want them to know,ne sympathy is surely going to take my smile away from me...am moments away from bursting, trying to absorb the best of my day...each of these days!
Though I have learnt one great lesson, to keep adding value to yourself, not in terms of what u mean to people, but do things that are important to you, coz those are the things that are truly yours and nobody can take that away from u.
But I have to start again, i thought i was right this time, turns out it takes more...i wait for tomorrow with my arms wide open...hoping it gives me more strength to carry on and chart my own path!I just hope i don't try running away again...