In the 22 years of my existence...i have made lotsa plans...right from when to study wat ( i remember a diary full of dates and time that i cud almost never stick to!), to planning my wardrobe for a trip ( half the clothes i carried, i never wore!), to planning how to appear dressed at my best ( this would involve very tedious plans...and it turns out 9 out of 10 times, that I'm either over or under dressed...can't strike the balance on that one yet!)
So my plans ended up going not the way i wud want them...so then i junked planning!
Being the optimist that I am... i though maybe living life for the moment is the right mantra! my life always had a simple principle...everyday is a brand new day! When I read "Gone with the Wind" a few months back, i realised this was a thought that me and Scarlett 'O' Hara shared. I got into the tribe of people who work hard and party harder...every new day was spend doing better than yesterday... days turned to weeks to months and the calender pages kept turning...till the time i was trying so hard at outdoing myself that I cudn't recollect if it was at all what i wanted to do!
So, what did i want to do... lemme see...
- I don't want big bucks...in fact I pity rich people who spend all their time earning the money and losing wat is imp in life...time!
- I don't want to be on top pf the corporate ladder, coz i know to be on the top, I have to displace sumbody... that is the easy part...but stying there, there'll be jst too many people waiting to displace me...and that's a harrowing thought!
- I wanna live life in peace...reading and dancing...my two passions in life...but to be able to do that I'd have to be too rich or marry too rich!
There can be more to wat i wanna do...but the idea as u see is pretty perplexing...I always thought I'd know this by the time I am 22. I'd magically be a smart young exec in office by the day, the rocker at nite, a mellow soul cuddled in my couch at my own home listening to soft instrumental, a bespectacled reader sipping tea at Cha Bar not bothered abt the world around her....but I'm nothing yet...and as much I chase them I don't come any closer.
The world around me says.."just be yourself"...but am not sure if I'd really want the world to know who I am...
I'm still trying to find out wat it is like to be " jst me"..