Out of hibernation...finally!

I think it’s the right time to come out of hibernation now….the last few months have been so fast, so busy and so so much has actually happened….we had the annual festival at work yesterday…a rather star studded event..Kunal Ganjawala and Anushka Manchanda….loud, fun party for all and culmination of 4 months of rather hard work for my team, doubled as a lot of things and ended up being security in charge in a small area…but I had the best time looking at people who were all having a great time and suddenly that’s want mattered! And my best friend at work got married the same day…was there for her wedding…and wat a feeling…rather ecstatic, I am so happy for her…am so happy for them both….I don’t have pic, otherwise I’d have put it up here!

The last few months made me feel that life is not abt all the big things- sure ambition and success are important, but what matters at the end of the day is living for today and enjoying it immensely – that’s precisely what I had been doing for the last few moths. I initially started writing coz there was some void in my life – my relationships, friends, life, work- something missing and then I had fulfillment- each and every day was better than before! I immensely enjoy work and it shows, within 4 months I have gone from becoming an under performer to an over achiever…I have already achieved my goals and new ones are being set in place and what a feeling! And I just realized that we all are good, but we can’t be good in everything we do, there are thing we are absolutely great at and some things pathetic at…but we should take pride in that and hope for things and time to give us opportunities so that we could do things we like…work is not about superheroes…and everyone has weaknesses, and its okay ….that’s how we are!

And I rediscovered love, at least another meaning which I couldn’t find in all these years…from being fiercely independent to rather basking in the glory of being loved – I have take to being with someone all the time, and never get enough of it. that’s rather unusual…an with it has come insecurity and jealousy which I am keeping at bay…coz from my past I have learned that nothing that is perfect stays the same for very long, and in pursuing sustenance, I have lost…but this time its about being absolutely me and not worrying much and every might I know I might wake up to change tomorrow, or I might just wake up to being more familiar…but I am glad I spent today that way that I did!

Written too much in one post…would get back to being regular now…and here’s a special dedication to my friends who are now settled in blissful matrimony – your love story makes me believe that its just about taking a step at a time and knowing all the way that u can!

Congratulations Mr. And Mrs. Jhingan!

This is especially for you….

The Art of Losing

This is a beautiful poem that I heard in the movie " In her Shoes" - wouldn't talk too much abt the movie, coz it was a nice girlie flick, but I have seen better movies than that.... but what struck me in this poem, is what it states and how entirely different is the actual meaning....

One Art - Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day.

Accept the flusterof lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident

the art of losing's not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

How easily does she speak of loss, yet how fake is the pretense....maybe that is how its is....a memory that you may choose to remember as one of the times that life takes you through....but you can never truly forget...as sometimes, no matter wat...a loss can never be truly made up for!

Dream on....

“The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.” - Chuck Palahniuk

And its carrying on and moving forward that’s life. We see people with a big broad smile, we see people with a perpetual brood, and the difference lies not in how their lives are shaped, but how they want to see it! My concepts, my beliefs…my confidence in making the best of my day… today and tomorrow is wat brings a smile to me. I have a dream….that gives me all – passion, excitement, courage…. and much much more!

Song on my mind right now…. Junoon – By Abhijeet Sawant

For your Grey Cells.....

"Right and Wrong - are two sides of a coin, depends on which side is facing you - or which side you choose to see ! "


I came across this saying and I have been doing a lot of thinking abt it since then….jst marveling at the fact that it is so true. Since time immemorial, we’ve been taught to think and do wat is right – but there’s no definition of “right”…its not a certainty, its jst a feeling. And that feeling is again based on your family, your upbringing, your social status, your peers, and your competitors… that can be permutated and combined in a million ways. So much so, given the same set of conditions, me and someone else would differ on their definition of right and wrong. There is truth that can lead us and there’s knowledge to guide us, but they are jst means to reach an end, and the end u want to reach, is solely decided by you.

When I was younger, I used to hate debates especially the ones where I was against the motion on some very generally accepted topic – I used to think of it as a perfect waste of time, trying to un-convince a certain set of very convinced people abt how wrong their idea is! But, it’s a blessing in disguise; it gave me the power to think abt more than wat meets the eye, think straight abt wat I was thinking and not be a part of the herd. And since the day I realized that, I always find myself in these heated debates or discussions (as some subtly put it), and always find myself at the side, which has the fewest takers. Its interesting to see how a society’s perception is imbibed in our thought process. I can’t say these people don’t think for themselves, but then I have to say their thought is methodically stemming from the years of rote learning abt right and wrong, from family, friends and society at large…in some cases, they are tolerant to hear everyone out…some are well, psychologically ear muffed, so whatever u say falls on deaf ears! Its so much easier to be a part of the herd- there’s hardly opposition at most times, unless u bump into people like me. I remember reading this line in a Novel – the author described people are like “Coca Cola Bottles” – there are so many all around the world and you can’t distinguish one from the other…because they are like robots, they lack thought and questioning and that makes them unrecognizably similar.

A friend of mine recently commented, that my life is so happening and so different and if properly told cud sell off for a novel – I had no clue how to react to it and took it as a compliment. My life is abt my choices, caring little abt wat the others expect me to do, think it’d be right…and doing wat I feel good about. However, it was these friends only, who’ve advised me ( though I haven’t been most receptive) , whom I have battled on coffee tables for hours, when they have jst gotten up and said – “U are impossible. When will u think straight??” and I had the devilish grin thinking “And when will you think???”

The only thing I feel for such friends is pity…how they go on with life without thinking…following wat others have to say, taking life in black and white and missin out on the grey…aah the greys…wat fun wud life be without the greys…they can be white or black…but I’d prefer them grey….but as they say to each one…his own!

The beauty of purposelessness

A very good article I came across,
by NITHYANANDA SRI PARAMAHAMSA...sumthing pretty much in line with my last post:

"ACCORDING to the sacred Hindu scriptures, the Upanishads, as long as you work with ego, you will think that life has got a purpose and run behind the purpose.
When you realise the beauty of the purposelessness of life, you have dropped your ego. A man with ego searches with purposes and misses the reality. He misses the beauty of Existence.
The way you live your life you do not understand how purposeless it is. What you think as worthy is not worthy, what you think as being purposeful is not purposeful. Your ego constantly strives for purpose. In doing so it misses the reality of the present.
You need to understand the purposelessness of your goals and ambitions. What you think are the greatest treasures to obtain in this world are meaningless.
Desires for material assets grow each time a desire gets fulfilled. We are fuelled by fear, greed, lust and jealousy in constantly expanding our wants. These desires bring with it guilt and suffering. This is no life. This is not the purpose of life.
When you drop your goals in life, then you start realising the divine purpose, the divine play. You start enjoying the drama, without being part of it, and life becomes meaningful. You become a witness, and not a player, and bliss happens.
Living your life blissfully is the ultimate goal of your life. There can be no other goal or purpose. When you run after other goals you stop experiencing life; you are already dead. Your ego masks this true purpose of life from you. When you realise the purposelessness of what you do, a new consciousness awakens within, a joy fills you, Bliss simply happens.
Life itself is the path, not the goal. When you have a goal, you will run and when you run, your feet will not touch the ground and you will miss the beauty of Existence or nature. When you drop the goal, the emphasis will be on the path.
Sacrificing one’s life for the sake of the goal is not the way to live. If you live this way, only the payday will be sweet. Life has to be lived with satisfaction every moment. Else every time you achieve any goal, you will only repent that you have wasted life on something insignificant. Drop the goal and enjoy life."

It's all about money Honey!

An excerpt from 'Eleven Minutes' by Paulo Coelho

"....Money! A special piece of paper, decorated in sombre colours, which everyone agreed was worth something- and she believed it, everyone believed it – until you took a pile of that paper to a bank, a respectable, traditional, highly confidential Swiss bank and asked: ‘Could I buy back a few hours of my life?’ ‘No Madam, we don’t sell, we only buy!’

Maria was woken from her delirium by the sounds around her. ‘But this can’t be exactly an earth-shattering discovery. Everyone must know what I feel. They must know.’

But they didn’t. She looked around her. People were walking along, heads down, hurrying off to work, to school, to the employment agency, to Rue De Berne, telling themselves: ‘I can wait a little longer. I have a dream, but there’s no need to realize it today, besides I need to earn some money.’ Of course, everyone was spoke ill of her profession, but basically, it was all a question of selling her time, like everyone else. Doing things that she didn’t want to do, like everyone else. Putting up with horrible people, like everyone else. Handing over her precious body and her precious soul in the name of the future that never arrived, like everyone else. Saying that she still didn’t have enuf, like everyone else. Waiting just a little bit longer, like everyone else. Waiting so that she could earn just a little bit more, postponing the realization of her dream, she was too busy right now, she had great opportunities in front of her!.... "

Exactly why he is one of my favourite authors, he tries to get the world to discover things they already knew..but conveniently choose to forget again!