more than words!

i had written abt how much sense a moment of confusion makes...and its jst sad that we ignore that thinking saying it doesn't make sense...
its many times, more than one thought that makes sense...bt u dnt wanna believe it...u banish it...bt it stays there...and u never lose it completely...atleast i don't!
i lived thru with sumthing thinking i didn't wanna believe in...bt in the back of my mind...i never gave up...i still believed in it..being true...without ever thinking...or realising it was or wasn't...and today it stares me in the face...and it feels the same...i knew it was here...i jst chose to never think abt it....to conciously believe in it...
bt today i do...and i know this is the truth...and nothing bt the truth...coz there's nothing like it...nothing that makes me feel alive and love life so much...and wait for tomorrow!

time...

Wats the one thing most important in life...time or money? the argument continues forever...bt i think its time...its worth everything u have and worth everything u'll ever have...
ne which ways u see it - all u buy with money is also time...time to believe that you were young, were beautiful, were in an earlier life, a time that u cud do wat u wanted...so its jst a matter of time...
so instead of spending today, working like a dog - staying away from family, keeping time away from friends, live today so dat u can live better tomm...for a tomm, when u miss today...
how is tht ever worth it...

Sumtimes...we jst start doing things so different...we forget who we really were...and those thigns become so much of us..till we forget why we were doing them in the very first place...u love it...u can't imagine ur life any other way...people around u percieve u like that..and u are happy abt it...
till u start losing it...making excuses abt it...bt its a thing u liked right...then u give more explanations...nt a good day...sum other day...till the excuses run out...then u try to actually get at it...u can't...and u don't understand why...u get cranky, extremely cranky...confused and irritated...and u dnt still dnt know why...and then suddenly in a million but one moment of absolute haze..it all starts to make sense...
u cannot be who u are not...its jst a matter of time...our inner lives and beings always come out...its impossible to be moulded forever...dat only happens in love...and only once...
i am not in love...this is not me...these aren't the things i do...i will now find myself back...bt is it worth it???
maybe only time can tell...bt i know its easy to be lost...infact that's exactly where i am heading...

2 months in Namma Bengaluru

been a month again before i got back to writing a blog....that too inspired by Vijay's mail on his story abt Reboot-2008. Well written dude....i loved the sabrimalay part...too cool....
i won't write particularly on reboot though....generally abt my last two months at work...they have been quite a time...flew away before i cud stop and realise....bt awesum nonetheless....
so today I am thinking i'd count the blessings of being in Bangalore:
1. My job - i love it....it can be a bit too much bt i get to meet so so many people, touch their lives...and this is what i wanted to do for so so long....it jst can get better from here....
2. My friends, my extended family - so many thanks to my old friends in the city and from delhi - I am never alone...and being in a distant city, this is the best thing to happen....
3. My flat - right next to the airport....the old one in bangalore....i can see fighter jects taking off from my bed ....i mean how many people have that fortune...
4. My flatmate - super sweet aand very nice.....

Now to things that I haven't done before:
1. Stayed at the company guesthouse for 20 days - an obvious first
2. Took a local bus in an unknown city at 10:30 - coz i figured it'd be safer than a bus...conviniently forgetting the half a km of walk that i had to do once i got down...nightmarish!
3. Went to a club, overdressed for a chnage....follwoing delhi standards...
4. Went for drinks with 1 friend and 15 acquintances and then going to someone's place whom i don't even know...and haveing a blast till 4 am
5. comes close to point 4, door being knocked by cops at 4 am, coz we all were loud....
6. going for a fashion show....though i was in delhi...never got to do that in delhi....
7. drink....at random friend's houses till 4 am an entire weekend...6 am on a particular one...
8. buy shoes worth 6 k
9. drive...8 people in a maruti car......
10. get to a farmhouse party....rocking music and bring your booze types...and have absolutely nothing to drink and hence sky gaze instead....
11. this same party getting busted....
12. have a firang flatmate....while at the guest house....get to meet his even cuter german friends....sigh!
13. air kissing while at the fashion show....
14. go to an anniversary party....for a nightclub and have a member's invite to it...i mean all these last months i have partied like crazy without ever paying an entry to that place...my awesum friends and friends of friends...
15. be on page 3 in bangalore times....didn't believe it really....i mean 24 years in delhi and nothing happened and 2 months in bangalore and straight to page 3.
16. went to a charity event for kids....
17. went out with my office dance troupe...for a fundraiser....
18. went to an inter-corporate fest with an entourage of 20 people and had a great great time.....we were out for almost 20 hours....bt it was great! I am hoping to make some new friends and going forward not eat lunch alone in the cafeteria nemore....
19. being invited to a b'day party...when i knew him for almost exactly 24 hours....
20. having 3 straight tequila shots and rum...and then not knowing when the cake was cut even though people remmeber me as being right there....
21. wanting fresh air and walking out at 4 am i nthe morning....with another new friend...roaming the closed markets like ghosts....
22. this one shud be right at the top...experimenting with my hair...after atleast 9-10 years of the same kinda hairstyles...i cut my hair very short witin a week of getting to bangalore...has kinda given me,and my personality, a fresh breath of life....

22 things that i cud remmeber in 2 months...not a bad count at all....am living and loving it and there's no ther way that i'd rather have it.....

New and Improved - Now in Bangalore!

Have moved to Bengaluru a month back...or was it a lil more than that...took a long long time to settle down here and as usual loving it...wudn't say i had to move because of work...I chose to move and what a decision this has been....in the past 1 month, I have done so many kinds of things which I wouldn't have managed to do in any other role...all in all loving it so so much....i can't start explaining....
life has turned more pragmatic and realistic after the move here...of course living alone in another city is quite a teacher...and so it has been for me...and i like that thing abt this...adjusting to the city is not difficult...i like the anonymity and at the same identify it as the city as the only place outside of new delhi that I have had so much fun in...i have always really liked this city and that is something that has made the transition like so much easier...traffic is a killer but then a rose has thorns...so goes without saying...nothing can be done abt it...weekends are a breeze though...
also moving into a city that I hav visited for ages has given me some good friends...some road identification and a sense of basic getting around the city...and hence my weekends are packed...and gawd i love that so much abt being here...otherwise its a pain to stay in an empty house...
coming to the point of house..u have to know how much i love my new house...its a pain to walk to the bus stop every morning...bt what cud i not do for these killer views of the airport runway 24*7 ...especially in bangalore's great weather...its awesum....will post some pics..as soon as I can...and my flat mate is also pretty nice...touch wood!
much more to write about...bt in the coming editions....

IPL : Big game, Big Money...

Have you seen the new vides for all the IPL league teams... crores of rupees spent on "buying" the "auctioned" players...and now the videos for each team....the money spent on this one sport...that too not national is enough to sponsor all sports for I guess an entire year! I mean money...money...money , and deserving players are going crazy looking for sponsors just because they chose to rifle shoot or do boxing instead of play cricket. Well here's all the video's incase u haven't checked them out yet..... of by the way- I forgot paying for the airtime, prime time airtime that these videos are being aired on....

The Official DLF Indian Premier League Promo



Deccan Chargers



Kolkata Knight Riders

Is this me??

Its been so long that I looked back at my blog…somehow that’s always my first time. Its been so long that I actually do things that I really want to…I have lost something along the way and actually imbibed a lot of complexes doing things which aren’t really my forte…I dunno how I have got entangled in all this but its really starting to hurt in the sense that I have somewhere lost out on my life and I am living someone else’s. Sumone who goes out everyday, parties every weekend, wears the best and most in fashion clothes, has a latest pair of everything, huge social circle and living the life in high circles. But its bringing in more and more dissatisfaction in my daily life…my bank balance never seems enough and most of it even it increasing doesn’t really make me happy….I wanna run away and go on a holiday but then I have luxurious vacations planned 4 months ahead for which I need to save now…the best of fashion is burning a big hole in my pocket but it never seems enough.. my happy go lucky attitude has changed to a chic sophisticated one…is this what I really want? Am not really sure…I don’t find time to do the lil things that I used to do at my own pace…listen to lotsa music, all kinds of it, write my diary, laze around and read some books…I have lost it all sumhow.

And that brings me to think…did I lose it…did I will to lose it, or it jst happened…I did lose touch but I can’t say I didn’t have the time- jst that I so wanted to live that life and change my life so drastically that I don’t really remember what I really liked doing. I mean change is good, necessary but then balance is essential, which I have surely lost. I am not sure if I really want to b the sunglass-on-my-head girl roaming and being part of GK – I mean once in a while yes…but then not all the time- I’d never be able to keep up with them, these things don’t come naturally to me. I have to be reminded - wear a belt, black suits better, the bag is not matching, take the beads necklace, what happened to your hair…..aaargh…I am fed up! This isn’t my style…I would love to dress that way once in a while – maybe when going to select city walk, but not at other places…spare me the perfection! I can be the hippy….though its taught me a few good things…how to look good at all times, now I jst need to let go of the obsession to look good, jst be myself…and I guess I’ll still look good…I wonder if I was like this…I would have never survived out of college!

I guess the time tested testament stands true…everything in moderation is good…. And if that was so easy to achieve then it wouldn’t really have been wise words- all wise words are rather ideal situatios where its difficult to reach. And I guess living a dual life is also too much to ask – a happy go lucky (read junkie) chic person is unheard of…and I am not sure that’s easy to become…but then its about not becoming…or is it! Maybe invent my personal style…now that isn’t easy either…I can say, one thing hasn’t changed…my laziness.. looking for the shortest route out!
And as the mood goes, am rather nostalgic about my old self…hence “Time of your Life” by Green Day…an awesum song!